What a fucking waste of an outfit
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Is it because I queefed?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
