Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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