I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
