Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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