All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
