she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
