when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
