RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
