have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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