I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
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Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
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Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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