man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
