is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
