My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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