ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i love accidental penises.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
