Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
