I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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