How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
