I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
