Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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