he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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