she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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