white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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