Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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