we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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