she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
