Don't you send me to vm
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
