It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
