he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i dont even know how to be here
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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