id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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