Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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