I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
im on a boat
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