how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
