If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
