I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
