I need to stop coming to work sober
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize