Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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