What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
