just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
