Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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