Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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