Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
