tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This house was built for laser tag.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
