the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
