theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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