In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize