I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
