just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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