Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
