She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
