Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think people are normalizing furries
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