wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
