Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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