I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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