Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
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How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize