my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize