Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
