so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
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It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
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He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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