O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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