Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
