I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
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Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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