I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
