Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
