dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
that's an acceptable place to lick
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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