my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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