I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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