Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
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Responsibility does not care about your dick.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
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Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I am one with the molecules
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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