Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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