So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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