How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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