you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
