forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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