oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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