just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Found your dick twin last night
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
